Posh Nosh..

You can forget yer Langan's, and your poncy squirrel meat, Crayfish tails and Smoked Trout Frikkadels with Charred Limes.... The posh nosh stakes were raised yesterday morning when I found the most extravagent vending machine ever!!! Had I not already dined on Frosties, a yoghurt and a slice of toast some 30 minutes earlier, I could have breakfasted in real style on the platform at Leigh-on-Sea train station.

Passing the time whilst waiting for my train, I gazed gormlessly into the window of the vending machine, and was presented with pure decadence... forget Walkers crisps, only McCoys and Doritos are good enough for your Leigh customers. Can of Coke? forget it, only trendy cartons of juice and cans of health drinks that I've never heard of available here. Fancy a pack of Maltesers or M&Ms? well only cinema size bags are worthy enough... it was like the credit crunch never happened! But hey, what the fuck is that, sitting in the top right hand corner, number 18?? a pack of 4 Ferrero Rocher!! "Why Ambassador, you're really spoiling us now"!! I fully expected to see fresh caviar hanging from one of the sections, but alas it was not to be (although I was on a late train, so maybe it had already sold out).

Apologies for the naff pictures, once I was safely on the train, it dawned on me that my mobile was set to take the lowest quality pictures... still ya gets the idea right?!

So whats the oddest item you've ever seen in a vending machine??

UPDATE: Thanks to John who e-mailed me this link to a website choc full of vending machine madness!! Thanks John, although you really coulda just posted it as a comment and taken all the glory!!! Genius!!

Mad Vending Machines!

Tickets Please!

Can anyone pinpoint the time when concert ticket prices went bonkers? My guess is around the year 2000.

I've been a regular gig-goer for over 25 years, and although prices have always been going up, between the early 80's and mid to late 90's, the increases always seemed to be fairly negligible... the odd 50p here or a pound there. But the last few years has seen prices going up by five and ten pounds a go. Today, tickets for any 'established' acts will now easy set ya back £50, £60 or £70.. which is outrageous for a couple of hours entertainment. Someone in my office was looking at tickets for Elton John, and was told they were over £100 each... face value! Oh and don't get me started on booking fees, handling fees AND postage fees!! (I remember when it was a 50p charge no matter how many tickets you bought!). Yet the 'entry level' gigs - and often my favourite shows... new bands in dark, dingy, small clubs - have changed very little, and it's still easy to have a cracking night out for a fiver.

For quite a while I remember that a fairly big gig was equal in price to an LP (about a fiver in the 80's and about £10-12 in the 90's). I remember this particularly in the 80's, as I was on very limited funds, and often had to chose between the two.

My theory for the incredible price hikes is that artists just ain't making the money out of releasing albums anymore. Live shows are probably the only way they can make money these days, so are fleecing the fans for as much as they can get. The arrival of e-bay has also not helped. Now every fucker is a ticket tout, buying up tickets for hot shows they have no interest in, and making the gig sell out quicker in the process. They then offer the tickets up on e-bay within minutes of buying them ("genuine reason for sale"... yeah, you are genuinely a greedy fucker!) for a bargain quadruple the face value. The trouble is, people by 'em. Once artists find out their tickets have been selling for double, treble or more, they are certainly going to think carefully about the ticket prices the next time they play. At some point, I'm convinced that some greedy promoter will cut out the middle man and put every single ticket for a show up for auction only... ensuring they can claw the maximum amount out of the poor old fans.

My mates have always taken the piss out of me for keeping my old ticket stubs, But these days they actually make quite interesting reading. Unfortunately I tend not to keep new ones these days, but I've just pulled a few old ones at random and the results were quite surprising.... Particularly when bands moved up to the bigger venue. These days that means double the ticket price, but the examples below show hardly any change.

1984

Soft Cell (final show) - Hammersmith Palais - £4.90 (and it's a hand-written ticket too! how honest were we back then??!)

1985

The Fall - Pink Toothbrush - £3

1987

Erasure - Westminster City Hall - £6

1988

Mission - Astoria - £7

Mission - Wembley - £8

Pogues - Town and Country - £7.50

Pogues - Wembley - £8

one day ticket for reading festival (inc wonderstuff, Ramones and Iggy Pop) - £12.50

Bowie - Wembley - £16

Psychic TV - Pink Toothbrush - £4

My Bloody Valentine - Pink Toothbrush - £3

Boys Wonder and My Life Story - Pink Toothbrush - £3

1990

Frank Sinatra - Docklands Arena - £75!!!

Bowie - Docklands Arena - £25

Bowie - Milton Keynes Bowl - £20

Teenage Fan-Club - Pink Toothbrush - £3.50

1991

Tin Machine - Brixton - £11.50!

1992

Marc Almond - Royal Albert Hall - £12.50

1994

Barbara Streisand - Wembley - £48.50 (yeah pricey, but wasn't she charging £200 last year?)

1995

Marc Almond - Shepherds Bush Empire - £10

Blur (plus the likes of The Boo Radleys, Sparks, John Shuttleworth, Dodgy, The Cardiacs and more) - Mile End Stadium - £18.50

1996

Day ticket for V Festival - £25

Sex Pistols (plus Iggy Pop, Buzzcocks, Stiff Little Fingers + 6 other bands) - Finsbury Park - £22.50

1997

Oasis - Earls Court - £19

The Monkees (all 4 original members) - Wembley - £20

I once worked with someone who told me that in 1980 he was forced to go see a local band, and was outraged at having to pay 75p to get in... Depeche Mode was their name. Anyone remember any 'bargain basements' gigs they went to?

Piley

Cheesy Choonsday: Shirley Bassey and John Keating

Not dropped a 'Cheesy Choonsday' in for a while, so I'm bringing it back with two of my all time personal favourites from the archives here at Piley Towers.

The late sixties early 70s was a funny old time for your 'traditional' artists. Having breezed through the 50's and 60's with their tried and tested act, many easy listening stars suddenly found themselves looking a bit 'square' (dad-io!). In an incredible attempt to make them look hip and trendy, many started recording up-tempo modern covers, to try and appeal to a new generation of music fans. I'm not sure how well these albums were received at the time, I'm assuming the 'kids' didn't go for it, and it's likely they also didn't go down well with their older generation fans. However, time is a wonderful thing, and if they didn't hit the spot at the time, many of these albums, rich in Hammond organs and funky guitars, sound really cool now....

The 1970 Shirley Bassey album 'Something' is a real gem from that time, famed for her classic 'Light My Fire' cover. But for me, her cover of 'Spinning Wheel' will always be the highlight.

John Keating's funk-tastic cover of 'Jesus Christ Superstar' (from his 1972 Moog 'Space Experience' album), is probably the track I associate most with the mid 90's cheesy listening scene. I still snigger a bit now, to think that this was one of the 'big guns' to pull out when the evening was in full swing! A guaranteed floor filler, but brave is the DJ who queues this record from the start... although i really like the atmospheric intro, one minute in was the usual spot to unleash this baby, so don't turn it off too early!

Piley

The X-cruciating Factor!

As a genuine music fan, i have religiously avoided talent programmes like Pop Idol, Fame Academy, Popstars etc for years. I assumed they were all full of nauseating teenagers, all with heads stuck firmly up their own arses, thinking they were gods gift. Not my idea of fun. Then 3 years ago I somehow stumbled on an episode of the X-Factor, and was actually quite surprised... yes, it was indeed full of those 'up their own arse' teens, but what I didn't expect was the humiliation that was dished out on so many of them! It's the modern day equivalent of the stocks, where chump after chump roll in, only to have verbal tomatoes and rotten fruit thrown in their faces. Surely there can be no finer TV than watching arsey teenagers getting knocked down a peg or ten??!

Since then, I've watched half of every series that has followed. I say half, because it's only the auditions that make good sport. Once you get into the live show, the fun stops, and the terrible karaoke show begins.

From what I understand, 99.9% of the hopefuls never see Simon Cowell and Co. There are literally hundreds of judges sifting through them first, weeding out the mediocre... so the only ones who make it through to see the 'celeb' judges are either really good, or really shit (I'm assuming they don't tell the contestent which category they have been put in, but I guess most of the deluded naturally assume they have been picked because they are 'amazing'). But as much as I love watching the bad auditions, there are always a few that make me feel a little TOO uncomfortable... I don't know how to put it tactfully, but lets just say, some of those who turn up may not be quite the full ticket. A cocky teenager is one thing, but publicly humiliating someone who may not fully appreciate they are being ridiculed feels a bit low and nasty.

Take 43 year old pizza delivery man, Alan Penfold from tonights show (the last of the audition episodes). I could be wrong, but you can almost see the lead up to this one... I imagine people have been sniggering at his singing and dancing for years, whilst telling him how good he is, and how he really should apply for the show... I mean, it IS funny, but should we really be laughing? Does TV consider this sort of humiliation as 'fair game' these days? or am I just being too sensitive??



Last year it was Emma Chawner that had me squirming on the sofa. The programme managed to make fools out of the whole family on this one, and oh, isn't that the theme tune to 'The Flumps' backing up the arrival of this rather portly family?! I kid you not! Watch it to the end if you can, to see the family barge into the audition room to challenge Simon Cowell... Uncomfortable is the word.



The year before it was Robert Unwin, a chicken factory worker, who no doubt couldn't quite work out why he became a laughing stock....



As they say in the business..... That's Entertainment!

Piley

Start The Revolution Without Me - The Comic Strip! Issue 3

I've not posted any of my comic strips for a while, so here are a couple more. As always, the same rules apply... doubleclick on the pictures to view them at their full size.

If you missed the previous ones, the first two strips are here, and the second two strips are here

Piley

Now We Are One!

Well who'da thunk it? 'Start The Revolution Without Me' is a year old today!

I now struggle to remember a time in my life before that pesky little 'blog alarm' was routinely going off in my head... you know the one "it's almost a week since your last post y'know, you better get cracking on a new one..." it goes, and makes you feel all guilty!

I know a few people thought this bloggin lark was gonna be a 'five minute wonder' for me (shame on you Dave W!), but I can honestly say I'm every bit as enthusiastic about it now as I was on this day last year. I've really enjoyed being able to get some of my old musings out, but the real bonus that I hadn't anticipated back then, has been meeting so many great new bloggin' buddies.

So thanks to all those who have continued to tune in and read my old waffle, and even bigger thanks to those who have actually contributed and commented over the last year - without who I know I would have turned it all in by now... finally, special thanks to Planet Mondo, for t'was he that got me bloggin in the 1st place.

Cheers!

Piley

Sex Pistols - Live Review

The Sex Pistols Live at Hammersmith Apollo, 2nd September 2008

In January 1978, Johnny Rotten famously snarled "Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?" to a San Fransisco audience, who were watching the Sex Pistols explode before their very eyes...

When I went to see their very first re-form show (Finsbury Park, 1996), I was absolutely bricking it. The Pistols are just about my favourite band of all time, but the decision to go wasn't as straight forward as you might think. On the one hand, how could I miss the chance of actually seeing them live after all these years? but on the other, there was a real fear that it would be disappointing and soil my love for the band. It sounds stupid, but i was genuinely nervous about that gig. But in the end it was completely unfounded, and they put on a blistering show that night, everything I ever wanted and more. 20 years on, they still had the swagger, the anger and the attitude. So with memories of Finsbury Park and numerous reports of how good they were last year, I'd been lulled into a false sense of security about tonight's gig and hadn't even been worrying about it... mistake!

For an hour before the band arrive, a DJ is on stage playing toons to get the audience 'in the mood'. To be honest, someone may as well have just stuck a 'best-ist Punk album in the world.. EVER (honest)' type CD on, and saved the cost of the DJ, as just about every track was 'that' obvious. The band walk on to a rousing rendition of 'There'll always be an England' and launch straight into... erm.. a hoe-down style version of Pretty Vacant. It's obviously tongue in cheek, designed to fit in with the title of the tour (Combine Harvester), and maybe a couple of lines might have been vaguely funny... but after two verses and two choruses it wears very thin, and the little dance routines and 'yea-hars' are a bit embarrassing. I start to panic, Pretty Vacant is my favourite Pistols song... hell, it's my favourite song FULL STOP!! is this the only rendition I'm gonna get tonight?? Fortunately though, once the barn dance is (finally) over, they do at least play it again for real.

The setlist is a no-brainer, and includes pretty much everything you expect, but 4 or 5 songs in I notice I'm just starting to lose interest, and from what I'm seeing on stage, I don't think I'm the only one. This is a cash cow 'going thru the motions' gig if ever I saw one. Lydon is obviously bored of the whole thing, and unforgivably, is ruining a number of the songs. I always think of him having two singing voices... his angry snarl for the Pistols, and that high-pitched caterwauling that he introduced us to in Public Image Ltd. Unfortunately, he's decided to go for the caterwauling option for much of tonight, singing about 8 octaves too high, and much of it all on the same note! (think the chorus to PiL's 'The Flowers of Romance' and then substitute large chunks of 'Never Mind the Bollocks' into that!). The rest of the band try hard to recreate the power and sound of the originals, but Lydon's vocals undo much of their work.

The only members who's heart still seems to be in this are Cook and Matlock (no doubt the only two who really need the money too... coincidence?), Cook is as solid as ever behind the skins, and at least ensures that the unmistakable Pistols sound remains tight. Matlock too is ever the talented professional... to think they actually sacked him back in the day! Steve Jones looks about 20 stone and has lost much of his on-stage style and charisma (his cocky swagger now more a waddle). Surviving the gig seems to be his main priority tonight as he puffs and blows his way through the set, but his unmistakable chugging guitar sound still sets the hairs on your neck going...

As the show goes on, there is one other thing that really starts to niggle, and that's Lydon continually banging on about how 'great' Great Britain is. He's waving the George Cross flag and dropping his trousers to display his union jack pants... and in between songs he's continually telling us how wonderful us Brits are and what a great country England is... yeah John, that's why you n Jonesy have spent the last 20 years in LA mate...

When they come out for the encore, Lydon finally finds his Pistols voice, and gives us a fairly convincing 'Anarchy in the UK'. Yet incredibly this one is spoilt in other ways, as it's overly extended to lend itself to a bit of audience participation (kinda punk Butlins style). The gig finally splutters to a conclusion with two truly 'orrible cover versions... Hawkwinds 'Silver Machine' (WTF??!) and Road Runner. Road Runner is nowhere near the spit and bile of their original 70's version, it's an overlong cabaret routine and I make my exit during it (so I'm assuming it was the last number)... Always leave 'em wanting less!

Had I not seen how good the reformed Sex Pistols can be (I've just listened to the Finsbury Park Live CD twice whilst typing this review, and it still sounds incredible), maybe I wouldn't have been quite so disappointed. Lydon informed us that the band had "drunk Ireland Dry" the night before, and tonights show certainly had the feel of a hangover about it.

So in answer to the question he posed 30 years ago, yeah, finally I do feel a bit cheated John...

Piley


Good to meet up with Planet Mondo and Tronik Youth after the gig, and t'was Mr Tronik who took the crackin' photos of the show you see above. Cheers for letting me use em fella!

You can see plenty more of Tronik's Pistols Pics and read what Planet Mondo thought of the show here.

And why not pop over to Tronik Youth's site to see just who he's remixin' this week, see where he's next DJ'ing or maybe even pick up one of his super funky T-Shirts!

Nobody Likes To See That...

Thanks to my good mate Carl for e-mailing me this clip of some underground 'fight-club' kinda deal. I've been laughing at it ever since! I mean, nobody likes a show off right?



Piley

Your Time Is Gonna Come..

It's weird how your perception of time changes as you get older. In January 1977 I discovered David Bowie, when I heard his latest single 'Sound and Vision'. I was blown away with the song and was desperate to find out more. But the more I found out about the man, the more I felt as though I'd discovered some old codger on his last legs!! From what I was reading, it seemed like all his glory days were way behind him (Ziggy, Aladdin Sane, Diamond Dogs, Young Americans etc), and at the age of 10, five years ago (when he was Ziggy) seemed like a million to me... why it was half a lifetime! Yet looking at it now with my '40 somethin' head on, I wasn't far out at all, and I was slap bang in time for what is arguably his best work (the Eno trilogy). The modern day equivalent of this (2003) seems like only a few months back... and to prove it, all these things were happening just 5 short years ago:

- The invasion of Iraq began;

- Apple unveiled this weird iTunes Music Store idea (it'll never work..);

- The final flight of Concorde took place;

- 5th Harry Potter book (Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) published;

- 3rd and final film in Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings movie trilogy released;

- Madonna and Britney snogged at the MTV awards;

- Phil Spector was arrested for investigation of homicide;

- Goldfrapp released their 'Black Cherry' album;

- Blur released their most recent album to date, 'Think Tank';

- Iggy Pop released 'Skull Ring', including his first new recordings with the Stooges;

- Johnny Cash, Robert Palmer, Bob Hope, Barry White, Bob Monkhouse and Adam Faith all died.

Scary huh??! It's weird how 5 years in history (i.e. a 5 year period before you were around, or at least before you were aware of it) seems a lot longer than a 5 year period that you've lived through.

Here are some more freaky facts from the perspective of the 10 year old me in January 1977, all of which at the time, I no doubt felt had happened in black and white, during the 1800's....

- Jimi Hendrix died 7 years ago;

- Punk started last year!;

- the 45 RPM single was invented 19 years ago;

- Stan Laurel died 12 years ago;

- Sid James died last year;

- Marilyn Monroe died 15 years ago;

- Harold Lloyd died 6 years ago;

- Elvis is still alive!!;

- Some old dudes called the Beatles split up 7 years ago (they were SO old, that their 1st single came out 15 years ago!!);

- Top of the Pops TV show has been going for 13 years;

- Winston Churchill resigned as Prime Minister 22 years ago;

- World War II finished 32 years ago, and food rationing in England only finished 23 years ago.

Ain't it weird how all of these things seem quite recent when you read them now??

Well I've made myself feel ancient... how about you??

Piley

Start The Revolution Without Me - The Comic Strip! Issue 2

Here are another couple of strips I came up with recently. Doubleclick on the pictures to view them at their full size. As always, I'd welcome any feedback.

If you missed the first two strips you can view them here

Piley

Silvery Produce Gold!!

I stumbled across em last year, and was even lucky enough to interview lead singer James for the blog back in November. Since then, the Silvery buzz has continued to grow, with plenty of radio coverage (including a blistering live session for Steve Lamacq and a Marc Riley session to come shortly), magazine articles and sold out shows.... which all leads to the perfectly timed debut album Thunderer and Excelsior, which is out tomorrow (11th Aug).

I received a promo of the album a few weeks back, and have listened to little else ever since. This fully realised album captures the band perfectly, and is sure to catapult them into the heart of the indie scene. For me, Silvery are a dream come true, tapping in to so many influences that appeal... Take Blur at their coolest, the Kaisers at their strongest, XTC at their most majestic, Bowie at his Ziggy-ist, add the keyboards and quirkiness of Sparks, throw in a Wurlitzer fairground organ sound for good measure and mix it up with 14 insanely addictive songs... and you are on the way to discovering one of the most exiting debut albums of the year.

The album bursts into life with Horrors - 1minute 45 seconds of perfectly manic punky pop. It's the ideal scene setter for what's to come, and before you know it, new single (also released tomorrow) Devil in the Detail is unleashed on you. It's a relentlessly frenzied attack on the eardrums (check out that 70's Bowie guitar riff mixed with an organ sound straight out of a Hammer Horror!), and if there is any justice this single will do well for them. Silvery have never made any secret of their love for Ron and Russell Mael, and Action Force is testament to that... as it just about 'out-Sparks' Sparks! A Penny Dreadful reminds me of Blur, circa Modern Life is Rubbish... Only 4 tracks in, and you've already heard 4 potential hit singles. There really are no fillers on this album, this is eccentric Britpop at it's very best... every track is bursting with energy, and almost every one of 'em is 3 minutes or less.

Animals Are Vanishing is the perfect final track. This swirling, dreamy, almost emotional song wouldn't fit right anywhere else on the album (much like 'This is a Low' was the ultimate way to complete Parklife). It's the ideal way to bid the listener farewell... but it's unlikely that one play will suffice, my copy has been stuck on repeat for the last 3 weeks!!

It's great to see a band making a proper indie noise again.... The current indie scene has been abysmal for some time (more like easy listening pap that your parents would like), so the stage is set for Silvery to make it credible once more with their exciting and intelligent brand of madness!

Buy it, listen to it, cherish it!

And if you're in or around London, you can even see the band FOR FREE this week! To celebrate the 1st birthday of Rough Trade East, Silvery will be performing a full 'in-store' show this Friday (15th Aug) at 7.30pm. Shop details:

Rough Trade East
'Dray Walk'
Old Truman Brewery
91 Brick Lane
London
E1 6QL

Silvery Links:



Buy Thunderer and Excelsior at Amazon

Link to the Silvery Website

Link to Silvery at Blow Up Records

Link to Silvery on MySpace

Further details on Rough Trade East (including a map)

My exclusive interview with lead singer James Orman

Finally, here are a few Silvery video clips..

The video to Horrors:


The brand new Devil in the Detail video:


An old Devil in the Detail video:


Piley

Man Bites Blog: Harvey Pekar Inspires Piley to Strip!

Regulars will know that every now and then I bang on about comics. I know that they aren't every ones cup of tea, but if I could convey one message to the 'non-believer' it would be that there is such variety out there. Approach the subject with the wrong person and you'll no doubt be told that comics "are all about superheroes" and\or "are made for kids". This would be like me saying books are rubbish because they "are all Mills and Boon romance stories" &\or "all written by Enid Blyton"! Both the book and the comic book are legitimate ways of telling a story (it's jut the medium of books has better PR!) You can buy a book on pretty much any subject, and these days the same can be said of comics, both fiction and non-fiction.. and that includes autobiographical work too, my favourite of which is Harvey Pekar's American Splendor comic, which he has been making since the 70's.

In 1962, Pekar 's love of jazz led to a meet with a fellow fan who'd just moved into town - Robert Crumb. They became good friends and Harvey was very interested in the sketches and stories that Crumb was always working on (in between his day job of drawing greetings cards). A few years later and Crumb's career as an underground cartoonist had really taken off, and it gave Pekar some real food for thought. He saw the potential in a different type of comic, one about every day life... HIS every day life! But there was one small problem, he couldn't draw! Undeterred, Harvey drafted some stories using simple stick figures, and showed them to Robert Crumb. Crumb loved them, and offered to illustrate them for him, and American Splendor was born! Harvey still works in the same way to this day, the only difference is that these days, there are many more top quality cartoonists who are only too happy to illustrate his work.

Although his work fits in well with today's 'all new' comic scene, in the 70's his stuff must have been nothing short of revolutionary. At that time the comic industry really was all "superheroes and kids". There were a handful of people around making adult oriented comics (the aforementioned Robert Crumb, Gilbert Shelton with his Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers), but these were mainly "adult" because of their explicit content.

In some ways, Harvey Pekar is the godfather of blog. He's been blogging for over 30 years, but in comic format. Subject wise, nothing is too ordinary or mundane for Harvey, and his tag line has always been "ordinary life is pretty complex stuff" (CONFESSION: I may well have been influenced by this when I first set up my blog... check out MY tag line above! Sorry Harvey!). This phrase encapsulates the world of blog too.. although blogging is diversifying these days, originally it was all about capturing the everyday lives of everyday folk.

Harvey's not to every ones taste, and he seems to evoke a 'Marmite' style divide - love him or hate him. Mrs P is interested in a number of comics, but has never warmed to his work (although she did really enjoy the film adaptation of American Splendor a few years back). She finds him just too grouchy and his stories just too mundane... which ironically are the two things I love the most about his stuff! But I guess I see more of myself in Harvey than Mrs P does! On the face of it, his work may not look like anything special... a story about the growing awkwardness of someone giving him a lift to work, a conversation he's overheard in a shop, how a vague acquaintance became a better 'friend in need' than any of his true 'friends' when help was needed.... it's everyday stuff. But scratch beneath the surface and see yourself staring right back. I don't find gold in every story, occasionally one will leave me a bit 'non-plussed' thinking "and??" at the end of it. But that's the nature of this particular beast, and no doubt someone somewhere read the same thing and it really spoke to them. I remember reading one of his comics where he was reminiscing about old relationships, how the break-ups had affected him, his thoughts on love and loneliness etc. It was really profound and I kept re-reading it over and over again.

Comics have been a constant companion to me, right from an early age, yet until I discovered Harvey I never considered it was something I could do. I can't write a superhero story, a horror yarn or a futuristic novel... but i can write about the stuff that I see and the things that happen in my life (in fact, I'm pretty certain I'm the best qualified to do it!!). However, like Harvey, I can't draw either, and I don't know Robert Crumb (or any budding Robert Crumb's!), so all my ideas for comic strips have remained just that... until now! Recently I discovered some software to create comics. It certainly has its limitations (not least the fact that you can only do a maximum of three panels, and the small amount of characters you can fit into those panels), but I've been squeezing a few of my ideas into this package to see what happens.

I'm not claiming to be in Harvey's league, but like his, my strips are very personal, using my own experiences, thoughts and fears to create them. Neither do they finish with a pun, like the traditional three panel 'newspaper' strips... although hopefully one or two of them may raise a smile. I've not really been sure what to do with them, but I've decided to start uploading some of them here on the blog. There are a couple below, and I'll add a few more over the coming weeks, I'd really appreciate any feedback... Try as I might, I can't get the strips to display any bigger than they are shown, so do please doubleclick on them to view them at full size.

Oh and if by any chance an artist is reading this, and would like to collaborate and do these strips properly... do contact me!

Piley

Conclusive proof... The Internet is Great!

As a wee nipper in the 70's, I was a bugger for a bit of kids TV. In these days of multiple channels devoted to the little ones, it's hard now to remember what kids TV was like in those days... but 'limited' would probably sum it up quite well. During the week it was no more than an hour at lunchtimes (with programmes such as Rainbow, Pipkins, Little Blue... Issi Noho and Animal Kwackers anyone??!), and a couple of hours after school (Blue Peter, Magpie, How?, Grange Hill, Rentaghost, The Ghosts of Motley Hall, Barbapapa, Runaround, Record Breakers, The Tomorrow People, The Double Deckers etc etc). The Beeb would normally finish off with a five minute'er (like The Magic Roundabout, Ivor the Engine, Noggin the Nog) before that boring programme that dad liked came on. What was it's name again... ah 'The News' that's right.

The only time for a mini TV addict like myself to really 'fill me boots' was during school holidays and sometimes on Sunday mornings, where hours of fun awaited. The love of all things nostalgic has ensured that most of the popular kids programmes (certainly the majority of the ones I've mentioned above) have been preserved for posterity with books, websites and\or DVDs available to relive your childhood. But what about the ones that got away?

I'm sure ITV used to save all the best stuff for weekday afternoons - and any 'ol pony they weren't sure about was palmed off on us committed Sunday viewers (anyone remember the Sunday cracker - The Funky Phantom??!). One programme I vividly remember in that slot was a mad cartoon series called 'Tomfoolery'. Even at the time I don't think many watched it, as nobody at school ever mentioned it. This surreal show featured nonsense rhymes, poems, jokes, sketches and general oddness, that could only have come from the brain of a bunch of whacked out students. In my memory it was like a cross between the Banana Splits, Monty Python and Spike Milligan's Q.

I never found another person who'd heard of this show until a chance conversation with a mate in the mid-80's. At last, someone else remembered it. Who was it? none other than Mr Planet Mondo himself! I had remembered characters such as The Yongy Bonghy Bo and The Unmbrageous Umbrella Maker, where as Mondo was keen on the weekly 'running gag' of some fella wandering around trying to deliver a large plant shouting 'Plant for Mrs Discobolus!'.... erm, you probably had to be there. My chat with Mondo got me all fired up again about this show, but in those pre-internet days, your options were fairly limited.

I'm rather ashamed to admit it, but when i very first got my hands on this new fangled 'inter-computer-web-net' thing (mid 90's?), 'Tomfoolery' was the first word I ever typed into a search engine! But it seemed that bar Mondo and me, the rest of the world had forgotten about it too, and all my searches brought up links to various on-line dictionaries and thesauruses providing me with handy definitions of the word. I continued to search for it every so often, but never with any success, and eventually, even I forgot about it.... Until this weekend that is! On Saturday I was messing around on-line and BING! 'Tomfoolery' comes into my head... no idea where that came from! So i immediately punch it into Google and... yes!! at last, people did remember it after all! Within minutes I'd gained pretty much all the info I needed..

Made by Rankin-Bass, much of 'The Tomfoolery Show' was based on poems by Edward Lear, Ogden Nash, Frank Gelett Burgess and Lewis Carroll. As well as the characters I mentioned above, others included the straw hatted and bow-tied 'Scroobious Snake', the Enthusiastic Elephant (who spoke like W.C. Fields), and the Fastidious Fish (who lived in a goldfish bowl and moved around on stilts!!). 17 episodes were made between September 1970 and September 1971, and although an American cartoon, it was actually made here in England (at the Halas and Batchelor Studios in London and Stroud). Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, I found a full ten minutes worth on YouTube, complete with opening credits! I've not seen this programme for about 35 years, but as soon as I watched that clip it seemed like only yesterday - I remembered it so clearly!

But the best was still yet to come... during my searches I stumbled on a Rankin-Bass historian - Rick Goldschmidt. Rick runs a website devoted to locating and preserving all of the works released by Rankin-Bass (which, as it turns out, it quite some list... they were also responsible for the Jackson 5 cartoon and the Osmonds one too). A couple of e-mails wizz back 'n forth, and within 24 hours, he's sending me a DVD containing the only 4 episodes of Tomfoolery that have so far been unearthed (Rick got these directly from the archives).

The internet may be great for shopping, blogging, keeping up-to-date with bands and global sports events, but this weekend it finally showed me its full potential.

Anyone else remember this show? Or have you got a show that only you seem to remember??

Piley

You can visit Rick Goldschmidt's Rankin-Bass website here

Oh, and here is that ten minute YouTube clip!

Cheesy Choonsday: Salena Jones and John Schroeder

Another couple of winners from the vaults here at Piley Towers.

First up is American singer Salena Jones. Today Salena is best known for her jazz versions of standards and classics (she's still recording and has notched up over 40 albums), but in the 1960's she was a funky hit on this side of the Atlantic. Her first two albums ('The Moment of Truth' and Everybodys Talkin About Selena Jones') were both produced by Cheese legend Keith Mansfield, and he gave both a solid 'swingin London' feel. Have a listen to 'Right Now' from her debut album.





The second track is from John Schroeder, and his Hammond frenzied version of 'Papas Got A Brand New Bag'. I'm not sure how successful Schroeder was in his day (although he did wright 'Walkin Back To Happiness' for Helen Shapiro), but he was one of the big names in the Cheesy Listening revival. This track is taken from his 1966 groove-fest 'Working in the Soul Mine'.





Piley

Who's Gonna Watch the Watchmen?

If you’ve followed my old wafflings for a while, you’ll already know that if there is one thing that makes me jittery, it’s movie adaptations of comic books\graphic novels.

I’m not really bothered about the films that feature characters from comics (your Batman’s, Hulk’s, Spiderman’s, Superman’s etc etc). The stories for these are usually developed especially for the movie, so if they suck, it doesn’t really taint your comic book enjoyment of these chaps. No, the ones that make me nervous are the adaptations of specific stories - fuck those up on the big screen and you also soil the original comic.

Take ‘The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen’ for example, one of my all time favourite comic books. A really clever and intelligent story, beautifully written and drawn, and one I’ve re-read many times. Unfortunately the film of it was a ‘dumbed down’ turkey of the highest order. This pisses me off on two accounts….

1) It taints the original comic. I now can’t read the book without thinking of that god-awful film.
2) It gives non-comic readers more ammo to take the piss (like they need any more ammo!), as they naturally assume that the comic was equally as naff.

Nearly 25 years ago, Alan Moore (story) and Dave Gibbons (art) invented the ‘graphic novel’, when their 12 issue masterpiece ‘The Watchmen’ was collected into a 400 page book. This incredible deconstruction of the superhero, revolutionised the comic genre, prising it away from what was until then almost exclusively ‘kids territory’.

In an alternative USA in 1985, superheroes are all but extinct - after a police strike, a law was passed banning all lycra clad do-gooders from interfering with crime solving. Forced to hang up their capes, the superheroes have gone into retirement. One of them (The Comedian) gets murdered, and rebel Rorschach starts to investigate.

Moore pulls out every trick in the bag - flashbacks, autobiography excerpts and magazine articles all go into the mix to bring this story to life. As the story develops, we start to learn that many of these caped wonders were not the all-American heroes they tried to portray. They have skeletons in the closet, hang-ups and personal problems… I.e. they are real people! There is a very clever sub-plot involving a "traditional style" comic book about pirates which merges in and out as the story progresses. You’ve got to keep your wits about you on this one!

And it’s this intricate story telling in the Watchmen, that has kept it off the cinema screen for all these years. 3 or 4 attempts were made, but each one was eventually abandoned as the makers slowly realised it was impossible to transfer it to celluloid. In 2001, Alan Moore said of these attempts "With a comic, you can take as much time as you want in absorbing that background detail, noticing little things that we might have planted there. You can also flip back a few pages relatively easily to see where a certain image connects with a line of dialogue from a few pages ago. But in a film, by the nature of the medium, you're being dragged through it at 24 frames per second."

But it looks like the latest attempt to make it into a film (due for release in 2009) is actually going to make it, and this weekend the very first trailer hit the net. As opposed as I am to the making of this film, I have to say this taster looks pretty decent - but then who ever saw a trailer that didn’t look promising??! Alan Moore is still not impressed, he has already had his name removed from the film, and recently said “I shan't be going to see it. My book is a comic book. Not a movie, not a novel, a comic book. It's been made in a certain way, and designed to be read a certain way: in an armchair, nice and cozy next to a fire, with a steaming cup of coffee."

If you’ve never come across the Watchmen, do yourself a favour and give it a go in the way Alan Moore wanted you to - in the comic medium (and don't forget the fire and the coffee!). It’s still in print, and even the local library usually caries a copy. It’ll change the way you view comics forever.

Here's that trailer:



Piley

The Line-Up From Hell

The premier venue in Southend for all the biggest shows is the Cliffs Pavillion (this is no tin-pot affair either, it must be a 1500 seater). Located less than 4 miles away from Piley Towers, it's the ideal theatre to have a few pints and still be home in no time... Well it would be if they ever had anything decent on! I've been going to shows here for over 30 years, but it really is the odd little nugget in a vast field of shite (if I'm there more than twice in one year it's a miracle). The crazy thing is, they are preaching to the converted here - i love nothing better than a night out at the theatre, and where more convinient than the one on your doorstep? Yet they rarely provide me with anything to make me spend my money. Like a fool I always get excited when their booklet of upcoming shows drops through the letterbox... yet minutes later it's thrown in the bin with disgust. Even before you open it you know what it'll contain:

• at least 4 or 5 tribute acts, one of which is ALWAYS an Abba one
• a few shit musicals
• a few old fossils you though had died years ago
• a smattering of racial hatred (allegedly!)
• a few shows that just sound terrible
• and a partridge in a pear tree....

The new booklet that has just arrived is no exception, and the above categories are ably filled by:

• 'One Night of Queen', 'Elvis is in the Building', 'The Illegal Eagles', 'They Will Rock You - Rod Stewart and Tina Turner' and (of course!) 'Abba Mania'.

• 'Hello Dolly' with Anita Dobson, 'The Jungle Book', 'Fiddler on the Roof' with Joe McGann, 'Shout' with Claire Sweeney and Sue Pollard, 'All The Fun of The Fair' with David Essex (love the insightful line in the book which informs us that this new musical is "inspired by Davids debut album 'All The Fun of The Fair' as the words of the title suggest" well thanks for clearing that one up for us!).

• Joe Pasquale, Chas and Dave, Jane McDonald, The Drifters, Derek Acorah, Level 42 and Steve Steinmans 'Vampires Rock' (special guest Toyah Wilcox as the devil queen)

• Jim Davidson, Roy Chubby Brown.

But this time they have excelled themselves, and i think I've spotted the worst line up ever. Entitled "Best of British Variety Tour 2008", this show is undoubtedly the work of the devil, featuring (and I quote) "the cream of variety entertainment" (surely one for the Trade Descriptions people if ever there was one). So who have we got lined up then??

Cannon and Ball, Paul Daniels, Frank Carson, Jimmy Cricket, Brotherhood of Man and the fuckin' Krankies!!

Tickets for this laughter-fest are a 'fan-dabbi-dozy' £25, but i would genuinely pay someone that just so i didn't have to suffer it.

Anyone recall a worse line up?

Piley

Cheesy Choonsday: Sandie Shaw

Sandie Shaw will always be best known as the mop-topped, bare-footed winner of the 1967 Eurovision Song Contest, but there is a lot more to her musical career than you might think…

In 1969 she released her 5th album, ‘Reviewing The Situation’, which I stumbled on in a charity shop 20+ years later (I’m sure it was 10p!). It’s an album of wall to wall covers, and Sandie produced the whole thing herself. It’s quite a varid collection, going from the title track (from the Oliver soundtrack) thru to the Stones (a pretty good attempt at ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ but how could she forget to do the ‘woo-woos’??! – you find yourself putting them in to help her out!), via the Beatles, Dylan, Donovan, Lovin Spoonful, Rufus Thomas, Bee Gees and Led Zeppelin! - a stunning version of Your Time Is Gonna Come. In 2004 it finally got a CD release, and is well worth picking up.

By far the best two groovy cheesers are 'Love Me Do' and 'Reviewing The Situation', which are here for you to shake a leg to. I know you’re thinking the Oliver one will be shit, but trust me on this one ok?!

Love Me Do:


Reviwing The Situation:


And whilst I'm on a Sandie\Beatle-y buzz, here she is doing a 'fab four' medley:



Piley

Damn Fine Comic!

Earlier this year I was mourning the loss of the British comic (in the traditional sense), so imagine my excitement when on Friday 30th May, a brand new one was finally released!

The DFC is a spanking new weekly anthology comic (collecting strips both serious and funny), and is the brainchild of David Fickling (note: there is no official definition of DFC as yet, but with this piece of information in mind, it is likely to simply be the Dave Fickling Comic). You won't find this title in the local newsagent though... apparently people such as W.H. Smith's wants so much money for the privilege of putting your mag on their shelves, that the venture is simply no longer financially viable... David and Co therefore have taken distribution into their own hands, and the DFC is a subscription only comic, arriving on your doormat each and every Friday -- the perfect way to start the weekend!

So what's it like? Well for me it was a step back in time. If you are a child of the 60s, 70s or 80s you'll no doubt remember a time when kids were given a bit of credit. The anthology comics of our day (titles such as Action, Battle, Valiant, Lion, Warrior, Tiger) provided us with intelligent stories that continued to build over the months, and although they were predominantly aimed at a (male) teenage market, they were written well enough that Dad would often have a crafty read once you were tucked up in bed! Let's never forget that Alan Moore’s V for Vendetta (arguably the best ‘graphic novel ever written) started life as a continuing story in Warrior.

Aimed at 8 - 12-year-olds (boys AND girls), the DFC has tapped into this 'old school' approach, bringing a delightful selection of quality, varied strips, all written and drawn so well that this fortysomething thoroughly enjoyed every one of them to! The main stories are:

John Blake -- This is without doubt the flagship story for the DFC. A real coup for them too, as it's written by Philip (Golden Compass) Pullman. It is already building into a fascinating story, revolving around a ghost ship that sails the Pacific.

The Super Animal Adventure Squad -- delightfully silly story of crime-fighting animals doing battle against the evil Dr Nefarious! Younger kids will love this.

The Boss -- is shaping up to be a 21st-century 'famous five', as a bunch of school kids try to thwart the bad guys…

Monkey Nuts is by far the funniest story -- it actually made me laugh out loud! My all-time favourite 'funny' comic is Sergio Aragones’ Groo, and the Etherington Brothers certainly capture much of that same fun and madness in this story of good guys 'Monkey' and 'Robot' (who is an unwanted coffee vending machine!), and their efforts to defeat the Amazing Amazing! with some exceptional gags (both visual and written) en route..

Vern and Lettuce is top-quality fun about a sheep (Vern) and a rabbit (Lettuce). Again, sure to be a firm favourite of all the younger readers.

The Spider Moon looks to be an intriguing mystery, set to unravel throughout the summer. As it stands we're still not exactly sure how and why yet, but Bekka looks to be the only person who can save her doomed world and it's all somehow tied in with her sea diving exam. This one has me hooked!

Mo-Bot High follows new kid Asha on her first day at a new school, where she finds playground fights take on a completely new meaning…

Good Dog Bad Dog is the continuing story of two cop dogs (Bergman and McBoo) on a mission to rid the world of crime! Very original and very funny!

Add to this the odd irregular strip, jokes, quizzes and general madness and this is a real find. The production quality is also well worth a mention… This is nothing like the poor black and white newspaper quality comics we used to live on… beautiful, full colour pages on heavy stock paper, and a cardboard cover are the order of the day here... all wrapped up in a striking red and yellow striped envelope – you wont miss it when the postman calls that’s for sure!

It's difficult to liken this little gem to anything that has been before, the great mix of both dramatic and funny strips aimed at boys and girls evokes memories of a classic era (60s - early 70s) Buster. But whereas that title (and most other comics of that era) was aimed at a working class readership, the DFC has a definite middle-class air about it (imagine the stories of Buster mixed with the brain of the Eagle!). The audience this comic is aiming at are the kids (and parents) who are enjoying the new book revolution, the Harry Potter/Alex Rider/Young James Bond etc readers. And when you think what a massive market this is, it's amazing that it's taken so long for someone to tap into it with a comic.

The other thing I love about the DFC is the fact that it has morals (giving it yet another wiff of bygone days). Its sole aim is to bring quality storytelling to our youngsters -- there is no product placement, not a single advert and no tacky bits of 'free' plastic stuck to the front - just cover to cover stories and beautiful artwork. Something I really admire and I hope they will continue with it. In these days of 'dumbed down' culture, it's a breath of fresh air to see something produced for kids that is this good - and it works just as well with adults.

At £3 a week, the DFC is possibly straying from 'pocket money' territory, but if it helps to get kids interested in reading (and keeps ‘em quiet for an hour or two in the process!) that's got to be a bargain, right?!

If you've got little ones in the 8 - 12ish age range (or even if you don't!), why not give the DFC a go? You can buy a single issue to try (and all back issues are still available -- a service we only dreamed of when we were kids!).... but a six-month subscription is where the smart money is, bringing the price down to less than £2 an issue.

DFC may stand for Dave Fickling Comic, but in this household it's definitely Dad's Favourite Comic!

You can find out more about the DFC including how to buy\subscribe here

Piley