- at least 4 or 5 tribute acts, one of which is ALWAYS an Abba one
- a few shit musicals
- a few old fossils you though had died years ago
- a smattering of racial hatred (allegedly!)
- a few shows that just sound terrible
- and a partridge in a pear tree....
The new booklet that has just arrived is no exception, and the above categories are ably filled by:
- 'One Night of Queen', 'Elvis is in the Building', 'The Illegal Eagles', 'They Will Rock You - Rod Stewart and Tina Turner' and (of course!) 'Abba Mania'.
- 'Hello Dolly' with Anita Dobson, 'The Jungle Book', 'Fiddler on the Roof' with Joe McGann, 'Shout' with Claire Sweeney and Sue Pollard, 'All The Fun of The Fair' with David Essex (love the insightful line in the book which informs us that this new musical is "inspired by Davids debut album 'All The Fun of The Fair' as the words of the title suggest" well thanks for clearing that one up for us!).
- Joe Pasquale, Chas and Dave, Jane McDonald, The Drifters, Derek Acorah, Level 42 and Steve Steinmans 'Vampires Rock' (special guest Toyah Wilcox as the devil queen)
- Jim Davidson, Roy Chubby Brown.
But this time they have excelled themselves, and i think I've spotted the worst line up ever. Entitled "Best of British Variety Tour 2008", this show is undoubtedly the work of the devil, featuring (and I quote) "the cream of variety entertainment" (surely one for the Trade Descriptions people if ever there was one). So who have we got lined up then??
Cannon and Ball, Paul Daniels, Frank Carson, Jimmy Cricket, Brotherhood of Man and the fuckin' Krankies!!
Tickets for this laughter-fest are a 'fan-dabbi-dozy' £25, but i would genuinely pay someone that just so i didn't have to suffer it.
Anyone recall a worse line up?