Thursday, 5 February 2009

I Name This Shop...

Back in the late 70's/early 80's, a near legendary punk outfitters called 'NASTY' was the place go in Southend for all your alternative clobber. It eventually closed, but the shop has re-opened (and subsequently closed again) dozens of times over the years under many different names, but never recapturing the glory of its heyday.

The shop has been empty for some time, but in December 2008 it re-opened its doors to once again offer the 'yoof' of Southend some alternative clothing (all be it in a more 'emo-friendly' kinda way). The name above the door is now 'Threads Atomic Dustbin', and I bet the new owners musta worked on that one for days! Mind you, I'm reckoning that the only people who will get the 'joke' will be in their 40's (Neds never really were a household name were they??!), the same people who will have little interest in shopping there!! (I mean, do they even make those massive black flared jeans in 40+ waist size??!).

On discussing the name change with another former 80's goth-type in the office, we were sure we could come up with something even better. Since then, the text messages have been flying backwards and forwards, with the puns getting worse and worse as the days go by. Here are just some (the least worst!) of the rubbish we came up with....

We started off trying to think of more emo-friendly bands, like:

  • Bonnet for my Valentine
  • System of a Gown
  • Mink 182

Then, being old buggers, we had to widen the criteria a bit...

  • All About Eve-ningwear
  • Anti-Nightware League

Then, in desperation, it was just ANY type of shop!!

  • punk delicatessen - Ham 69
  • Mad-chester baby clothes - Nappy Mondays
  • goth dog kennels - Bow-Wow Haus
  • goth Mexican restaurant - Alien 'Tex-Mex' Fiend
  • shop specialising in toilet rolls and tissues for Metal lovers - Bums & Noses
  • Electronic shoe shop - Baltic Feet
  • a shop split down the middle selling fruit preserves on one side, and hob-nobs, digestives etc in the other, or to put it another way - Half Jam, Half Biscuit (look, I was pretty desperate by this time OK??!)

Oh you get the idea, and yes, these were some of the better ones!!! I therefore hand it over to you dear reader, to provide me with more (better??) band related shop names, come on, don't be shy!

Piley

19 comments:

Ishouldbeworking said...

New Romantic Plumbing Supplies Shop - 'Drain Drain'

The Wolfmen said...

There used to be a fabric shop near Petticoat Lane called (genuinely) Touching Cloth - off topic, but worth pop..

Furtheron said...

Frock of seagulls

Furtheron said...

Adam and the Pants
Sex-padrilles
My Clothing Romance

I'm on a roll now.... I'll get me coat :-)

Ishouldbeworking said...

Goth Japanese Restaurant - Sushi and the Banshees

Pawn shop for punks - Clash Converters

Hippy Pound Shop - Fleetwood Tack

Planet Mondo said...

Sweet Shop - Sex Pastilles
Cheese Shop - Cheeses Jones
Bakers - White Said Fred
Drain Unblockers - Shite Stripes

Planet Mondo said...

Angling shop - Rod's Do It

Ishouldbeworking said...

Specialist fruiterers: Fig Country, The Peach Boys, Godspeed You
Blackcurrant,

Specialist sweet shop: The Revellers

Specialist pet shop: The Beetles

Specialist dry cleaners: The Skids

And from the dairy: Primal Cream

Downstairs Topiarists: Pubic Image Limited

Specialist Alimentary Chemists: Poo Fighters

Please stop me

Piley said...

ishould - there's no way i'm stopping you!! Some crackers there!! Sushi is pure genius!!

Furtheron - lets hope you pick up a new job soon, you're getting in to this!! ;-)

Wolfmen - yuk!

Mondo - Sex Pastilles i like a lot!! Didn't even get the fishing one till i finally said it out loud! quality!

Any more for any more??

P

Planet Mondo said...

Very Personal barbers - Pubic Image Ltd

E F RICE said...

Chav and Dave should go nicely down that neck of the woods Piley.

I have some Ned's Automic Dustbin by the way, two good tracks at best and the rest unlistenable sh*t. Lead singer had a ridiculous haircut !

Anonymous said...

Sushi and the Banshees that is total class , nice one :-). I'm not going to try my hand at this there is no way of topping that. Glad some one else thinks Neds Atomic Dustbin are shite , Kill Your Telly Vision is there one winner the rest CRAP !.

Carl.

rockmother said...

Funeral Directors - The Damned

Half Florist/Half Gun Shop - Guns'n'Roses

Arthritis Supplies Shop - Stiff Little Fingers

Planet Mondo said...

Few more..

Opticians
Spec's Pistols
X-Ray Spec's

Ladies Lingerie
Madam and The Pants

Industrial Cleaning Supplies
Bleach Boys

Hairdressers - Hairosmith

And the toy shop - Toy Division

Piley said...

EFR/Carl - Yup, I remember NAD being total shite as well! Remember travelling down to the Reading festival one year and passed the band on the motorway... they had been pulled over by the police and the whole van was in the process of being searched! All their shit was on the kerbside, whilst they just stood around looking mighty fucked off!! I did see a bit of em at the festival, and on reflection, wish the police had taken em in for 3 days of questioning!

RM - hey you've put another spin on it! Like it!

Mondo - you been thinking about this all weekend aint ya?! Bleach Boys! Ha!

P

rockmother said...

Only because I am too thick to do it the proper way!

Heff said...

"System of a Gown", LOL !

Oh hell, there's some funny comments on this post !!

Anonymous said...

Men's clothing - Bob Marley and the Tailors
Canine Toy Shop - Mutt the Hoop Pull
Sleeping Policemen - Stone Plods

Piley said...

RM - rubbish, you were just giving it an extra slant!

Heff - glad you liked it!

Anon - ouch! They are getting worse!! yuo have made me think of another tho...

Reggae Motorbike Shop - Marley Davidson... sorry...

P