Sunday 20 February 2011

Delightfully Bad Taste!

As a fully paid up member of the 'people watching' club (nosey parker division), I am always interested to see what other people buy. I can't help but have a sly little peep in other shopping trolleys to see what goodies have been snapped up. And how about sitting in Argos?! Watching all those items crunch down the conveyor belt, proudly put on temporary display on makeshift racks (collection points A, B and C!), and then seeing who picks up what!
But the ones that really get me, are when you see an item in a shop, so awful, that you think (a) why on earth did the shop think this would be a good item to stock, and (b) who on earth is going to buy it?!
That thought hit me again last week, when I spotted a truly hideous item for sale in a new tat (but not cheap) shop in the high street. In amongst the 8ft high dragons, and 6ft wide Buddhas, was a item to out-class them all. Yes, this could be yours for a few measly hundred quid (yes, you read that right!), this years 'must have' home accessory....
The round, glass chessboard, lovingly balanced and screwed onto the head of Tutankhamen!
Each chess piece has been lovingly mass produced to represent some piece of Egyptian old guff.
A truly wonderful 'thing' I'm sure you'll agree. Form an orderly queue ladies and gents.....


John Medd said...

Does it revolve in conjunction with the phases of the moon? It's the sort of swag Del Boy was offloading in Peckham circa 1985.

mrs mondo said...

Oh dear, that’s bad...I actually gasped looking at that!

My nan had a great line in 'tasteful' items in her living room back in the 70’s, which delighted me as a nipper. A floor standing lamp fashioned to look like a victorian-style street lamp (not quite as high, obviously), the obligatory scattering of horse-brasses, colourful glass Murano-style fishes & clowns, and a classic 70’s kitsch repro painting of wide-eyed child with tear in it’s eye. Wish I had all that lot now! And if that wasn’t enough, she had a spectacular gnomes castle (well, about 3ft high – but they were gnomes) installed under her living room window at the front of her house, so passers by could stop and admire (and nick them, which led to my Uncle John cementing them in place. That’ll fool the buggers!)

Anonymous said... what am I going to get you for Xmas?


Kolley Kibber said...

That would have found a fine home among the onyx groves of Chigwell, circa 1978. But who on earth would buy it now?

A few years ago we were reduced to helpless laughter in a furniture shop near Bluewater, which was proudly displaying an oil painting depicting a crouching tiger glowering at a greyhound. It was called ... you've guessed it..."Tiger and Greyhound" and retailed at a cool three thousand quid. Hubby nipped back a week later, photographed it, blew it up, and stuck it in a shonky gold frame for my birthday. I expect it's still in the loft somewhere. Why not make your own King Tut Chess Table, Piley?

Mondo said...

What a terrible piece of tackery - I don't know what designer must snap their fingers and say *I've got it! An Egyptian themed Chess Table* anymore than someone would stock or buy's almost like something from Reggie Perrin's Grot shops..

Speaking of Argos there's some prime ol tat in there. I've got some old seventies catalogues (including Argos) on a DVD. I'll have to browse through and perhaps blog 'Tack Across the Ages'..

E F RICE said...

Oh brilliant, cashing in on the Egyptian vibe at the moment with recent events out there involving the President and people generally having enough and fancying a bit of democracy!

A quick Google search shows the Tutankhamen head/chess set effort is widely available for the princely sum of 299 dollars, with direct shipping from the USA. The one I saw advertised was slightly better quality, it looked more solid and has slightly thicker glass. Will send the link if you are interested.

You may want to know what search criteria I entered to Google ? I simply put in 'Shit glass chess set on Tutankhamen head' ........

PS - That Buddha looks quality though.

Cocktails said...

Oh come on now Piley, that looks lovely. I think it would go very nicely with the lifesize ceramic tiger that a shop up the road from me is currently trying to flog.

Mrs Mondo, I love the sound of that gnomes castle! Was it purpose built I wonder?

Piley said...

Say, i'm really feeling some love here for 'ol Tutan-chess-head... maybe i'll pop back and make them an offer.

JM - Now wouldn't that be something? I like your style.

Mrs M - That is so true! We forget about that sometimes. I remember a family member who used to collect these viking statues about 18" high. I loved them as a kid, and couldn't wait to visit so I could see them again, but it's mad now you think about it! And what is it with gnomes??! I've never understood that.

Anon - No, you can still get it for me, it'll be a nice 'conversation piece' (I think that's what they call 'em!)

ISBW - LOVE that painting! and top marks to Mr ISBW for making up that frame, genius! Maybe I should make a Tut Chess set.. Hey! I could make it out of matchsticks!!! ;-)

Mondo - a 'tat across the ages' feature would be great. Don't forget those sadly missed Innovations catalogues - a bit over used, but some belters in there.

EF - this sounds like the words of a man who is more than a little tempted. I could really see this in your front room. I bet Mrs EF has been nagging you to get one for ages huh? Buddha was great too, I can get a good couple of months out of that shop... just hope they don't go skint before I finish.

Cocktails - yes, yes, I am now beginning to appreciate it's understated charm. I think this gaff has the huge tigers too, maybe it's a chain? Perhaps you could order Tut Chess in your branch?

I'm with you, I want more Gnome castle detail, piccys too if poss!


Anonymous said...

We know you want one...YOU know you want one, give in to it Piley.
The picture Mrs M mentions there (girl with tear in eye) has some dodgy old wives tale attatched to it, its said to bring bad luck wherever it hangs!

Anonymous said...

It's the kind of thing Del Boy would snap up me thinks.


Piley said...

JJ - ok, ok, so I want one, there, I've said it... but only if I can get the model revolving table.

Carl - Think even Del might balk at this eyesore!


spud said...

That really is putting the 'toot' into Tutunkhamen! What kind of shop was it? Were they targeting the kind of punter who's already got an onyx telephone in every room? Or was it top-end headshop tat for aromatherapists with more money than scents?

Piley said...

Spud - it's the kind of low rent tat shop that THINKS it's high class, mostly frequented by people brainwashed into thinking that it must be sophisticated.

But fear not, I've been back in, and have taken a few more cheeky pics, look out for an update post soon!